Start with water.
“Treasure yourself for being, not doing.” ~ Gina Greenlee
Have you heard the “jar of life” story, with the rocks, pebbles, sand and water? Here’s a quick refresher.
A philosophy professor was giving a lecture. In front of him was a big glass jar, a pile of rocks, a bag of pebbles, a tub of sand and a bottle of water.
He started by filling the jar with the rocks and when they reached the rim of the jar he held it up to the students and asked them if the jar was full. They all agreed, there was no more room, it was full.
He then picked up the bag of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar so that the pebbles filled the space around therocks. “Is the jar full now?” he asked. The students all looked at each other and agreed that the jar was now completely full.
The professor then picked up the tub of sand. He poured the sand in between the pebbles and the rocks and once again he held up the jar to his class and asked if it was full. Once again the students agreed that the jar was full.
Finally, he picked up a bottle of water and poured the water into the jar until it soaked up all the remaining space in the sand. The students laughed. The professor went on to explain that the jar of rocks, pebbles, sand and water represents everything that is in one’s life.
The jar represents your life. The rocks represent the most important things that have real value—your health, your family, your partner. The pebbles represent the things in your life that matter, but that often come and go and that you could live without—your job, house, hobbies and friendships. The sand and water represent everything else. The small stuff—material possessions, chores, pastimes.
The metaphor here is that if you start by putting sand into the jar, you will not have room for rocks or pebbles. And this holds true with the things you let into your life. If you spend all of your time on the small and insignificant things, you will run out of room for the things that are actually important. Ergo, take care of the rocks first.
Intuitively, this metaphor feels right. But after spending decades experimenting with the proverbial jar, I see it much differently.
Start with water.
Start by filling the empty jar two-thirds of the way up with water. The water is what’s most important in life. It’s your way of being in the world. It’s curiosity and love, compassion and creativity. That “way” will then flow around and saturate everything else that’s added to the jar—family, work, hobbies, friendships, etc.
Now start adding rocks, then pebbles, then sand. And, as you do, the water in the jar will begin to rise. And if, and when, the water begins to flow over the rim and out of the jar, stop!
Why? Because something is wrong. Either you’re doing too much, or you’re not giving yourself fully to what you are choosing to do. Doing should never come at the expense of being.
Stay passionate!