Tame your thoughts by unwinding your wants.
“Nothing can harm a man so much as his own thoughts untamed.” ~ The Buddha
Studies reveal that, in general, people dislike being left alone with their untamed thoughts. It’s not the solitude itself that triggers unease—after all, a leisurely stroll in nature or the allure of solving a puzzle can be quite enjoyable. Rather, the discomfort arises when one is tasked with entertaining oneself solely through the contents of the mind.
One might question the necessity of proving this phenomenon through lab experiments when evidence abounds in the real world. A child facing a corner, a phoneless teenager enduring a long car ride, the isolation of a prisoner in solitary confinement, or a neophyte on a silent meditation retreat—these scenarios vividly illustrate the unease that surfaces when left alone with one’s thoughts.
Our brains weren’t designed to be disconnected from life and to happily run mental programs. We are fundamentally feeling creatures, our minds honed through evolution to actively engage with the world—socializing, learning, creating, and playing. Left to our own devices with nothing but our thoughts, we risk descending into a state akin to caged animals.
Some find refuge from the unruly nature of their conditioned thoughts through meditation, a practice that helps calm the mental tumult. Others use substances, engage in busywork, or seek distractions in order to tune out unwanted thoughts. Meanwhile, a few generate thoughts only when they want to.
Now, consider your own mental landscape. Are your thoughts careening out of control? Is the internal noise growing louder? The remedy lies in forging an intimate relationship with your thinking mind and subsequently taming it through inquiry, logic, and experiential learning.
I am currently immersed in outlining a unique approach to this relationship, and it’s all coming together in a book titled “Unwinding Want: Using Your Mind to Escape Your Thoughts.” This endeavor has been shaped over years of deep introspection and intuitive work with myself and with clients, offering a distinctive and practical route to mental liberation.
It’s not merely a theory; it’s an experienced reality that I’ll be putting into action through personalized one-on-one coaching and engaging group sessions. My aspiration is that it awakens people from the hypnosis of daily living and provides them with a more vital, life-affirming existence.
The thesis is straightforward—what we do and allow to continue in our lives is what we want. However, the mind wrestles with accepting this idea, birthing psychological illusions such as “I want this but not that” (despite their logical interconnection), “someday I will” (mere wishful thinking), and “I have to” (an obligatory duty tethered to some imagined source).
This ingrained, habitual thought pattern inevitably leads to suffering, both on a personal level and in the broader world. The way out is to unwind want and become want conscious. It entails a process of profound self-examination, radical awareness, and unfiltered honesty, exposing the essence of both oneself and the world. This liberation untangles the knotted mess of incessant thinking, anxiety, and regret.
I’ll be posting (and reposting) some short articles with ideas that contribute to the fabric of my upcoming book. If you come across something that resonates with you or, conversely, challenges your truth, I invite you to engage in this symphony of contemplation. Let the melodies of our minds converge and diverge, for therein lies the harmony of understanding.
Stay passionate!